2016 Performance Review

Last year I followed Laura Vanderkam's suggestion to write your year's performance review before the year began. That really resonated me so I thought I would follow it again. How do I want to spend my 8700+ hours this year? What do I want to show for my time? It really is a lot of time. Despite some disappointment reviewing last year's success, it was helpful for me to see it and plan how I want things to be different. In returning to my core values, I was aiming to pick a few goals and see where I would like to be at the end of the year.

But I've been working on this for a few days and just felt like I was writing the same goal driven resolutions I've been trying to avoid (make a new recipe each month, read 4 books a month, treadmill more, eat more veggies). All of those things are good but all of those are things that feel more like my usual checklist rather than things that make me do better. Be better. Amidst all of that, like so often happens, I see a post over on Momastery that stops me in my tracks. She commented

Man. Now I have two respected bloggers in my head, telling me how to plan my year.  And so it goes; we are back to the moments I've talked about so often on here (e.g., stereotype threat, yicky blobs). I keep trying to use the same system on my family life and my work life when the systems don't have to be the same. The work goals are easier to quantify. But when I write a blog that's work focused, somehow I feel judged that I didn't start with family relationships first or that I'm too focused on work to be a good mom. I know that I am a good mom. It's possible that I would even venture to say that I am a great mom--at least in this stage of life (except on the weekends between 2-6pm, then I just aim for "good enough" and "keep everyone safe"). I know that A is happy. It's okay that I also am doing well at my job. I have good manuscripts getting accepted (first one of the year hit 1/1/16), interesting ideas for grants to write, my mentored graduate students are doing well (my first got a tenure track JOB; this is crazy to me!), supervision continues to be fun, and I'm getting the hang of aspects of the DCT position. The idea that I can't talk about goals for my job without sacrificing my standing as a parent (or the flip side, that if I talk about parenting, I need to balance that so people view me as a serious academic), is primarily a war going on only in my own head. This is a ridiculous dichotomy and I know it and yet I keep falling for it over and over again. So this is my mishmoshed list of unquantifiable values for myself and my family along with my overly specified work aspirations.

Family 
I want us to be happy in our space, physically and emotionally. My perspective needs to be modified with a lot more gratitude and less willfulness. I'm excited to make a good faith effort at tidying up, Marie Kondo-style (who else has done/is doing KonMari? I love hearing your stories!) and also getting our backyard in order. And I know I'm happier when I'm exercising regularly and making that a priority. This is also the year that we will get a Will, open a 529 account for A, and increase contributions to both of our retirement.


Work
I plan to submit 1 grant and 6 new manuscripts by the end of the year
I plan to stop volunteering for stupid things I don't need to do (I taught four overload courses during 2015, completely all of my own choosing--I make poor decisions)
I will attend 5 national conferences, submitting at least 2 oral talks
I will protect writing time

Here's to 2016, folks. I hope it is happy and healthy and we each have the ability to see that which is already staggeringly beautiful in our lives.