Just to update from last week--we had Alaina's latest pediatrician appointment on Monday for her weigh in. She had been really fussy and wasn't acting the same the last few days so Chad and I had lots of questions. We are fortunate to have an amazing and patient pediatrician who answered all our questions and reassured us that everything was normal. Alaina was up six ounces to 8 lbs 14 oz. That's a normal gain but it was still disheartening to me. It's just so hard literally spending every waking (...as most are) minute doing feeding related activities and so I was hopeful for more. We go back on Wednesday. I would love for her to be back up to her birth weight (a gain of 7 ounces in 9 days) but I'm trying not to get my hopes up too much.
Otherwise we are doing okay. It's hard for me to do things like remember to eat (or find time to eat when I do remember) with Chad at work. My days are still in blocks of 3 hours where I nurse and then give her a bottle and then pump and then the cycle starts again. I'm still having a hard time leaving the house or having visitors because of the scheduling and the anxiety I feel when I have to miss one of the above. I know it will get better though. I've stopped pumping at night so that means I now get 2-2.5 hours of sleep at a time which does make me happier. Thursday will make four weeks that I've kept this up. I get upset about it but realize I could have easily given up already. But it is terribly disheartening that I have been pumping so much and only have 40 oz frozen (she eats 18 oz formula/day). I calculated that it is taking about 5 days for me to pump 1 day of what we are supplementing. But I keep hearing it gets better so that's what I'm holding on to. I find I live too much in an alternate reality of "what if they had caught the feeding problem before she lost all the weight? What if she had already gained back to her birth weight? How would our lives be different?" But alas, that is not terribly helpful so I try to let it go.
Occasionally people want to hear how I am doing as well. :) I've already noted the emotional and exhausting stuff. Physically, I am still recovering. My incision still quite painful sometimes and I experience a lot of cramping and pinching sensations. My back also hurts a tremendous amount. Initially I blamed that on the feeding and trying to carry an 8-9 pound infant around all day but my sister, Kris indicated it also might be a residual side effect of the epidural. I am hoping that will get better as time goes on. The other things are supposed to be getting better by six weeks.
Well, it seems I've started to ramble now and it's almost time to feed again so I'll just leave you with a picture. Thank goodness she's adorable, right? Look at those rolls...surely she is gaining! And since people liked seeing how ridiculous our day looks on the last blog, I included an updated picture of that too along with one that just shows the feeding activities.
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