Easter Parade and Party

The school Easter party feels a little like Groundhog Day. Each year, A is so excited about the hunt, she slowly looks around, tries to find mom and dad, watches her friends gather eggs, carefully inspects each egg that she finds, and then individually opens it to investigate. And each year, she looks around in horror as she realizes that while she was experiencing this process, all the eggs are gone and she only collected four. You can even hear Chad asking me about this very thing, right as it plays out in front of us. I thought she might be okay this year, given that she just seemed to be enjoying herself. Nope. Cue the annual water works.

This was hard for us to handle because on the one hand, we want to teach gratitude for what you have. On the other hand, we want to teach her to be responsible for her behavior. And while neither Chad nor I are particularly competitive, we both do have to hold our tongues to prevent us from having to make her go faster. I'm glad she likes to stop and appreciate things. I just wish the outcome was that she realized that part/most of the fun is the hunt, not the number of eggs you come home with. We tried talking about this but she was unconvinced. She said that friends were supposed to share (and "Mighty Oaks share!") so we had to discuss that we can't just make other people give us their things.

Dude, this parenting gig is hard. She keeps us on our toes. I want to balance being understanding but having boundaries.

So of course we had an Easter egg hunt at home, using some leftover eggs and the extra eggs that Ms. Bobbie snuck to A when she saw how upset she was. This was clearly brilliant. She beamed at the full basket of found eggs (which again, were not quickly retrieved by any stretch of the imagination), which made her completely forget about her earlier upset.

We also dyed some eggs tonight, which was a lot of fun. She tried her first hard boiled egg which was about as funny as I hoped it would be--she was completely disgusted by it.

5 year letter

My sweet, sweet girl,

You are now five. You have talked about this age for so long and it's finally here. "When I am five, I will listen," "when I am five, I can ride a scooter," "we can go to Disney World when I am five," "I'll go to big school when I am five." You have a list of things you say you won't ask to do once you're five (ask for help after going potty or washing your hands, drinking milk out of a silicone cup in the morning) that I anticipate aren't actually stopping anytime soon.

Five is hard.

Every parent I have talked to has agreed that the transition from four to five is a tough one for parents. You still seem so little but now there are so many more expectations that other people have. Previously if you were at the store doing something childlike, such as running or whining, when people ask how old you are, they seemed sympathetic "ah, four. she's still little." Five just seems like a significant jump. Now you are school aged. Man. That feels like a punch in the gut, sweet pea.

You are growing and your personality is so apparent every day. You can still be slow to warm up to people and new situations but once you are comfortable, you just love to entertain. You tell stories and update us on all the things you are learning or experiencing. You love the theatrical build up of telling us something new. "Hey mom, you know what happened today? [dramatic pause] Someone pooped on the porch at school!! [peals of laughter]" Oh yes, potty humor is particularly hysterical. "Mommy, [friend] stopped the toilet today and Ms. A had to put gloves on and stick her hand in there!!"

You love fiercely. We love that you continue to give giant hugs with tight squeezes. You love to be picked up. You love to be held. You love to cuddle. Please don't change that. You love your friends and you seem to really be internalizing all of the messages you hear at home and at school about being kind and being a good friend. I am so thankful for this. That said, you do occasionally get in tuffles with your friends, surprising me when you tell me that a friend pushed you into the picnic table and when I ask why, you sheepishly admit that you pushed her because she was in your space and wouldn't stop playing with you, despite your request to play with someone else.

Some days, you enjoy playing by yourself for hours. Even at school or at birthday parties, I will catch you off to yourself playing. However, sometimes you don't want to be left alone even long enough for me to let the dog out or wash my hands. You love reading and you are pretty obsessed with writing letters. We certainly don't push writing at all and we know that all kids have their strengths. Writing is yours--we think your handwriting might have already surpassed your daddy's. It's been awhile since you mastered writing the alphabet (though, of course, you still write a fair number of your letters backward) and you quickly moved into writing "bubble" letters and then trying your hand at writing "fancy". This year, you insisted on addressing almost all of your birthday invitations. You even got up early on Saturday, took your class list into the living room, and got to work. I was blown away.

You continue to love asking questions and doing experiments. Sometimes you ask unsurprising questions we know the answer to (why is it raining?), questions about movies that are hard to describe (why does Gaston stab the beast? why is the beast mean?), and sometimes you ask things completely out of the blue (where does the Grinch live? why do astronauts keep their helmets on in space). Your memory is also so very fun to watch and experience. It is surprising and wonderful! We use it as a helpful tool sometimes but also suspect that it will sometimes lead to our frustration.

You're currently doing ballet and gymnastics (dance/tumbling combo). You seem a bit tired of ballet but are very excited for your recital next month.

Last but not least, by the time I write your next letter, you will have started kindergarten. I just don't even understand how this is happening. The days are long and the years are short. So so short. Slow down, baby. Help us to remember. We know we will never enjoy every moment but I sure hope we have lots of happy moments and recognize when they are happening.

Even when

A: "Tomorrow is my last day I'm four"
C: "I know! I wish you could stay 4 forever"
A: [looks sad]
S: "Sweetie, we will love you forever. We will love you when you are five and every year after."
A: "Even when I'm a teenager?"

Oh man. Yea. Even then. Let's all pray that A is a teenager as easy to love as her first years of life.

Four's final week

Parents of older kids, will this always happen? Will I always start crying a week before my sweet baby girl's birthday?

We have a four year old for one more week. I can't even believe it.

I have moments of feeling incredibly guilty that I've fallen so far behind on the blog and therefore, documenting the memories over the last year. So I guess we are due for an update.

Sadly, in January we lost sweet Madeline. She wandered away from our house and was hit by a car. We are all still sad about this. Sweet A still cries regularly about how much she misses Madeline (and Jasper).

We've had lots of silly times together.

A had her first eye doctor's appointment, where we were told that her eyes are perfect. She was so incredibly angry about her eyes being dilated. While we waited, the staff brought her colors and a coloring page and she asked me why they would bring them when she couldn't even see to color.

 Chad and A somehow managed to convince me to get another dog in February. I am still adjusting. They clearly are not--they're all smitten and over the moon.

We celebrated Valentine's Day. 

We grew crystals with science.

Honored Dr. Seuss's birthday.

Continued looking adorable in dance tutus.

Drank hot chocolate at the doctor's office.

 Worked on our dance moves.

 Celebrated St. Patrick's day.

 And went to fun birthday parties.

So there. Now we are all caught up on the fun that has been 2017. I'm sure there will be more posts soon with her upcoming birthday. I won't pretend I'll be on top of it beyond that!

Big girl

I can't believe that we had to enroll our sweet girl in kindergarten this week. How is this possible? Slow down, time!

Her birthday is in two weeks and I can't even handle it. Five seems impossibly big. I am sure that I will enjoy the new independence and skills and sense of humor but I already miss these cheeks and can't imagine not hearing her tiny little voice. I hope she wants to cuddle for many more years.

2017 Performance Review

#lifegoals: princess fireman

Every year I pontificate about not really believing in New Year's Resolutions and that we should focus more on goals and values. Frankly, the more time I spend on this, the more I think I just lie to myself.

I love having lists and checking things off.

The differences between goals and resolutions as described by most people, seem more like differences in semantics. My previous blog looked at how well we did (if one can quantify such a thing) last year so I want to again set some goals for the upcoming year. I really love Laura Vanderkam's suggestion of writing a performance review at the beginning of the year [2016; 2015], so here is where I hope to be (or hope to be progressing) by the end of the year. I should note, I'm fully aware that too many goals is a great way to fail across the board. That's kind of my M-O.

If anyone knows a good behavioral psychologist, I know a mom who could use help sleep training--herself... ;) 

Continued goals:
Read 4 books/month on average
Try a new recipe each month
Submit 6 new manuscripts 

Goals I didn't meet last year:
Track calories in MFP
Treadmill 2-3x weekly
Submit 1-2 grants
Stop using my phone from 7am-8am and 6pm-9pm

New goals:
Get 6-8 hours sleep/night
Download DuoLingo
Complete a no-spend challenge
Apply for licensure
KM: digital, sentimental
Create Christmas budget
Create Disney budget
Be a thoughtful friend (send flowers, etc.)

So, let's do this! I have my new bullet journal ready to start tracking. :)

2016: under review

This year feels like there is an awful lot to reflect on, both good and bad. Every year has ups and downs and it is important to remember both. I haven't done as well blogging this year which makes me a little nervous about years to come. However, in keeping with tradition (at least in the last several years, here are 2013, 2014 and 2015), I wanted to blog about our year.

• We are most happy to have such a wonderful little girl. We are thankful to still have a loving and healthily stubborn puppy. I spent a lot of time (and a bit of money) getting our house in order, thanks to the KonMari method of decluttering. 
• I had some parenting wins like science projects, gardening with insects, reading more books than ever, taking A to work, celebrating holidays, and realizing just how kind and special she is growing. A also got to ride on her very first airplane. Sadly, I never posted about our Kentucky or Michigan trips.
• I also had the most terrible parenting moment that still shakes me to my very core and makes me grow teary every time I think about it. Occasionally when we pass the hospital, A will say "we went there when I bumped my head? Momma, are you still sad? But are you happy?" That basically sums up my every emotion. 
• A turned four. We had to make a difficult decision about pre-k and are so very happy that we stayed in her current school. She is flourishing and happy and gets to play all day with her friends. We truly cannot believe that this is our last few months before we have a school aged child. It takes my breath away. 
• I was happy that A continued gymnastics but we also started ballet and she took summer swimming lessons. It is fun and interesting to think about what she will enjoy from these activities. 

In looking at my unquantified goals and values for this year, I think we did okay. It probably wasn't our best year but we also had some really good moments.

Family
One of my family goals was for us to be "happy in our space, physically and emotionally." I feel really good about our physical space. Our house has so much more room to breathe. Of course there are things that could always change (our carpet should be replaced with hardwood floors and our backyard needs serious landscaping especially after our hilarious attempt at gardening last year). Emotionally it is still difficult to be in Oklahoma, so far from family and lifelong friends. That said, we are so pleased that we were able to make it back home to both Kentucky and Michigan this year. The visits were bittersweet because they were reminders of all that we are missing but it was so good to see everyone. We are already planning a trip back to Kentucky (at least me and Alaina) in the summer because the UK Psychology Department is having a reunion because they are turning 100 years old!

Exercising seems to be a constant theme of failure for me. I'm realizing though that my failures to exercise tend to be related to sleep so this year I am planning to focus on sleep goals (more about that in my next post!). That and I have never truly been an exerciser...

We did an awesome job being adults by opening a college account for A and by finally beginning to contribute to our retirement accounts. We also paid off our credit card debt and one of my student loans. We wrote a free will online but I'm still considering consulting with an attorney about estate planning.

Work
Work is hard. As always, I compare myself more to what I'm not doing or accomplishing. I have colleagues who will always be funded and publish exponentially more than me and I know this intellectually. Overall though, we had good papers come out of the lab, we wrapped up two major projects, and started what I think is a really cool study. I didn't let go of as many of the overload courses as I planned (again, my own doing). I attended a few conferences. I got good teaching evals. I've discovered that I get more done between January through July so I hope to capitalize on this in the future. DCT is moving along. I caught up on signing all of my clinical notes! {and am now behind again} I also started bullet journaling, as you can see below. ;)

For my specific goals:
Read 4 books/month on average
Close. I read 46 books this year. I think I would have easily hit my goal but got sucked into election coverage in October and November. I also didn't travel to any conferences this fall which meant no airplane reading.

New recipe each month
Easily. The instant pot also helped with this a ton!

Consistently log in MFP 
Nope

Treadmill 3x weekly
Nope

Have veggies 4x weekly
Nope

Finish academy application
Yes, this took so much longer than I anticipated but we finally got it done. We may not get approved but I'm glad we took this step. 

Submit 6 new manuscripts 
Done+

Reduce phone usage
I did not do as well with this as I would have liked but have renewed hope for the future

Make good faith effort on tidying
As I mentioned above, this went really well. I stalled out on the sentimental and digital categories but hope to finish those this year. I might go back through everything again to help with maintenance.

Backyard landscaping
I put in a few bushes and we spent a great deal of time putting in tomatoes, herbs, strawberries, etc. However, the backyard is a total hot mess. Clearly, we need to hire someone.

Start 529 account
Done!

Contribute to 401k
Done!