Dear sweet girl, somehow I think these letters are getting harder. On a daily basis, I try to think about what you will want to know about who you were at this age and what I will remember (or be sad that I forgot). However, when it's time to write the letter, I am just distracted by the crushing and desperate sensation of trying to slow time. You are enthralled by the power you wield over everyone's emotions as you get bigger. You've picked up on phrases like
you'll always be our baby along with the thought that
we will love four as much as three. Not long ago, you surprised me by asking if I was sad you weren't going to be 3 anymore. It stopped me in my tracks as I wondered what else you're picking up on and how careful we should be wishing away the moments we have.
So far, three really was our favorite age. It hasn't always been easy but it is so rewarding. Your personality is just lovely. You have all of our best traits alongside ones we don't know where they came from. In general, you are filled with positive affect and your laugh lights up the room. You spend a lot of time singing and humming; you talk to your toys so sweetly; and you can be so gentle with Madeline
(usually).
You remain quite sensitive, though I'm sure some of the sensitivity just comes with the developmental territory. You cry inconsolably when you miss people. Sometimes when I pick you up from school, you will be so happy and full of joy and as you're bounding along to the car, you will say "I cried about you at school today. I missed you." On an almost weekly basis, you bring up Jasper as well. This has gotten a little better in that they are no longer meltdowns that last 30 minutes but we've definitely had our moments. The roughest was one evening when you said you missed Jasper and then started crying saying "who made him dead? I don't want him to be dead. I just want to pet him." Me too, sweetie. We sit with you and try to support you through the big emotions. Those emotions and that passion are also responsible for how fiercely you love and how tightly you hug.
Those emotions, and some normal self-centeredness are also responsible for the frustration you feel you don't get your way and lead to you saying things like "you're not my very best friend right now!"
Developmentally, you continue to do well. You're doing great learning to listen in gymnastics and I daresay it has even helped with your clumsiness. Your legs are slightly less bruised because you seem to be tripping over air with reduced frequency! You love your teachers there as well--likely because you are carried almost the entire time you aren't performing. At school, you are obsessed with writing and knowing letters. You want to know what all words start with and you love writing your name. It sounds like sometimes you get frustrated that you don't yet know how to read. I think that's less because you
really want to read and more because if you see someone doing something, you think you should be able to do it, too. You have great pattern recognition, though, in that you can write many of your classmates' names and you tend to be able to guess who a name is by the first or second letter.
You've also become quite a little gossip. You love to come home and tell us about your day and all of the drama that ensued. A conversation typically goes something like "you know what?" "H said stupid and that's a bad word, right?"..."you know what?" "J said pee pee and that's a potty word, right?" For a brief while, we were having some issues with her coming home and saying things like "S said girls can't like dinosaurs" so we had to start having those discussions early. It was fun to watch them progress so that it became "S said girls can't be firefighters but girls can do whatever they want, right?" Ms. Brooke also has been running interference with you all by reminding the class that girls and boys can do whatever they want. You also sometimes come home and say that a friend is bad so we have been talking about the difference between bad people and bad behavior.
You're a little person and in that, I can see who you are and who you will be as you get older. Sometimes I flash forward to the dream that we are still (very) best friends as you go off to college. I hope you are still a momma's girl. And I want your hugs to always be so tight. And I always want to remember the way it felt to have you in my arms. Happy birthday, love.
Today you are you.
That is truer than true.
There is no one alive
Who is more youer than YOU.
~Dr. Seuss
