Dumpster fire: 2020 in review

 It feels futile to review our past year. We survived; the end? 

Of course you know that reflection (and rumination) is far too tempting for me. I do know I will one day forget the nuances of our "Pandemic Year 1" (please, please let 2021 be the last year we can reference in pandemic terms!). Of all years past, this should have been the year of lowered expectations and letting go of guilt and shame of things not accomplished. It is always an aspiration (see the years of the past for reference).

2019

2018

2017

2016

2015

2014

2013

But seriously. I have just stared at my screen for the last 5 minutes trying to figure out what to say. To be honest with you, that is a pretty accurate summary of the last 9 months, trying to write/work. While Chad has worked in person throughout the pandemic, A and I have basically been home since March, isolated from folks, save a couple of trips to the office each month. We recognize how incredibly privileged we are for so many reasons--that I was allowed to work from home due to A's asthma; that A can participate in virtual school; and that Chad was able to keep working. While Chad's work is our biggest exposure point, amidst so many folks losing jobs and the economy struggling, we are glad that his job has been secure (apparently a number of folks used this time to remodel their kitchens and/or appliances were overworked and needed to be replaced)! 

While we definitely made some good memories this year, looking back at my 2020 goals this year was a little painful...

Plan trips? Yikes. We canceled a trip to Ohio for a wedding and were not able to go to Kentucky or Michigan to visit family...Stay on top of editorial tasks? Ha! In addition to it being virtually impossible to secure reviewers (I understand this--I had to say no to a record number!), there were more submissions this year than ever! Continue friend dates? Eek. My last colleague lunch was March 6 and previous tea/work dates were prior to that. Volunteer at the food bank? Nope. I should have walked the dogs regularly, went to bed earlier, ate fruit/vegetables, and landscaped the backyard but alas. All of that said, I was able to connect with friends via Zoom, found joy in sending people surprises via grub hub/door dash, and I would not have made it through this period of time without some really awesome text/messaging groups with daily check-ins, memes, vent sessions, and photos of cute kids and yummy food.

In terms of work, we somehow submitted an NIH R34 grant in June (not discussed with pretty crummy reviews) and, after a lotttttt of frustration, I submitted our program's self-study (all inclusive it was 896 pages!) in December. We were able to move our community study to a virtual platform after canceling participants in the spring. I'm nervous but hopeful that we will be able to collect enough folks to end the project at the end of June. Along with a number of faculty in my department, I spent some time this summer completing an antiracism training program, which continues to challenge me in my daily life and within academia. I moved all my classes and meetings online and that went relatively okay, though the break from zoom meetings sure was appreciated over the last two weeks. I hope that I can get more done in terms of research writing and student submissions in the coming months. Normally, I would look back on the number of decision letters, journal reviews, ADOS administrations, and manuscripts submitted but I'm honestly afraid to even look at this.

I went through a reading slump, especially since so much of time was spent reading about COVID, planning for homeschooling, etc. However, I ended strong finishing 55 books. Favorites were Giver of the Stars, Hill Women, Dear Martin, The Great Believers, and Such a Fun Age. During the summer, I had virtual meetings on Sunday mornings with two friends and we set house goals. With A's help, I was able to reorganize the playroom and closet and declutter most every room in the house. Another (unplanned) success was lots of time baking--sourdough, focaccia, asiago bagels, English muffins, garlic knots, baguettes, olive oil and rosemary crackers, pretzels, yeast rolls, sandwich bread, and pizza dough. We also got to play lots of board games and watch movies as a family. School was really tough for A this fall due to the virtual platform Edgenuity and missing her teachers and friends. However, we are hopeful this reset will help us and want to make a plan for better success in the spring. We absolutely cannot wait until it's safe to return to school. 

So that's it. That was 2020. What a hot mess. 

We are super hopeful this year brings continued good health, safety, compassion for our neighbors, and some semblance of equilibrium and normality. As we hope for this return, we also will continue thinking about what parts of our "pandemic lives" we would like to maintain moving forward.

The Unexpected

(Note: I am adding links to resources as I find them useful)

Like many folks, we are just watching COVID-19 unfold around the world. I've been watching for awhile but really started paying attention about a month ago as epidemiologists and public health officials started seeing what this virus is capable of. I am not an alarmist and I'm not panicked. I am glad that the majority of folks I know are also treating this with the appropriate level of preparedness as possible (as opposed to folks I see in the comments section of news articles or in some community Facebook groups who somehow see the rising death tolls as manufactured by mainstream media).

Anyhow, I have little to offer in terms of COVID-19 preparedness that can't be found in a million better articles and blog posts online. The two pieces of advice I have is--think of what food and supplies you would like in your house today if you were to get sick and have about a 2 week supply of essential medication, pet food, and foods at home. This isn't doomsday prepper time. I really don't understand the rush to hoard toilet paper, in particular.

The major point I have taken away from the last 2 weeks is that it's important to slow the spread of this virus so that hospitals do not become overwhelmed to the point that sick and dying folks are turned away from or receive lesser services. I believe OSU made the right call by going online for the next 2 weeks (minimum...). I hope that others are heeding the calls to avoid unnecessary gatherings and are not using this time to jet off on lower priced vacations...(Here are two great articles with do's and don'ts of social distancing).

I'm not especially concerned about my immediate family, though we do have a supply of regular medicine and a few more snacks than usual.

That said, A is at a higher risk of upper respiratory infections because of her asthma. Her asthma has been harder to control this winter, with us having to switch back to a more powerful medication and use her rescue inhaler more frequently. Thus, we made the difficult decision that, barring unforeseen circumstances, even if our school district is in session, we are going to pull her from school for the couple of weeks after spring break. I briefly talked with her principal today and he was very understanding and reassured me that the district was considering these types of situations. It is quite possible (again, if they resume school as currently planned) there will be materials available online or as packets that can be picked up for students to have.
Because A was absolutely devastated to learn she would be missing her teacher and class at least 3 weeks, we discussed ways to make the days fun. I told her we could make a schedule and she ran with that. We created a table together in Word and she stuffed that schedule full (I learned she's becoming adept at MS Word shortcuts like copying and pasting!). I color coded it only for her to decide she didn't like that because she wanted to choose each activities' color. So ultimately we now look like a super overbooked family. I figure what we will learn most is how to deal with unmet expectations and falling short of one's best laid plans.

Given that I have to move lectures online and somehow manage to squeeze in clinical supervision meetings via phone or Zoom, keep writing, handle journal articles, and complete overdue reviews, I am certain this will just continue my lesson in failing all the things as gracefully as one can (I did like this article about not focusing on creating perfect online courses on the fly; I'm imagining some of my meetings will go as well as my favorite internet sensation). Between the teacher walkout 2 years ago and a delayed opening of her school this fall, I am feeling much better equipped to deal with the unexpected.

Because I know others are also dealing with similar struggles, I've compiled a list of things that might be useful in the coming weeks (by A's categories). I found this article to be super awesome and realistic--bonus that the author is in my beloved Harlan County, Kentucky. This is also a nice list of activities.

• Kid-Friendly Exercises:

https://www.cosmickids.com/category/watch/
https://www.gonoodle.com/blog/gonoodle-games-movement-app-for-kids/

(I will have to find more physical activity videos because most of the non-yoga one I have watched makes me want to poke someone in the eye)

• Research: 

So A wants to learn how to "research a topic" so I'm going to let her come up with questions and then help her find sources to read about them. I am guessing I will read a lot about squirrels in the coming weeks.

• Math:

A is obsessed with the math game Prodigy. Between that game and some Highlights/Scholastic workbooks she got this summer, she will keep working on it each day. One of her favorite activities is having me create math worksheets for her. I found a lot of "math facts" worksheets online that makes this easier. Once she is finished, I let her check her work with a calculator, which she loves.

• Science:

Science will be the most fun, of course. We still have tons of experiments we can do at home (how is our bread *still* not molded, by the way? we started that experiment on 2/28 to drive home the importance of hand washing--still not a speck of mold). She will be missing her first couple of weeks back to Tech Club so we will definitely need to find some fun coding activities we can do at home. We still have geodes we can bust open, and we might do some reading about climate science and about viruses since she has had a lot of questions about that this last week. And of course, I have 234 Pins on my Science Pinterest board...here is the site I am most excited to dive into.

https://mysteryscience.com

• Bake:

I would have never thought to add this to our list. I am excited to see what A decides she wants to bake.

• Read/Write:

I might find a few journal prompts but otherwise, reading, writing, and drawing will be entirely up to her. 

• Computer:

This google document provides a list of a ton of educational resources for free for the next few weeks. Scholastic is also offering some really cool free lesson plans. She also uses iStation at school and could choose to play on that or Starfall for a bit.

• Social Studies:

I'm thinking we will do more on global citizen and perhaps pick a country to learn about each day. She has enjoyed similar studies at art camp and at school. Additionally, we get a box with snacks from a different country; this month will be Brazil, I think! (February was France and that was a huge hit with the whole family!)

• Art/Music:

In addition to letting her draw or do other fun artistic projects, I saw that 12 museums offer virtual tours for folks so we might watch some of those. Unfortunately I think that might bore her a bit. However, we might also learn a bit more about her favorite artist, Frida Kahlo. I also am ordering her a tie dye kit and we have lots of rainbow loom bracelets and chokers to make. 

We also discovered that many amazing symphony orchestras and operas are now available online which might interest older kids.

Metropolitan opera

Berlin Philharmonic

Seattle Symphony

• Library:

I'm not exactly sure what she wants to do for library time but perhaps I'll just let her use that time to peruse the books available to her through the e-library on her tablet. Maybe? 

• Creative/Play:

See above. I'm also hoping she might want to spend some time building LEGO or putting together a puzzle. We will see. If she chooses to just play with toys during those times, I'm fine with that too.

• Unfun Friday:

So this is kind of a funny joke because A's school does "Fun Friday." However, she absolutely hates it so much. I really have no idea what they do in there and I don't know what she will want to put during this time but it's sure to be unfun. ;) 

~

Anyhow, in reality, like I said, I don't anticipate that we will stick anywhere near this schedule. I also am comfortable with more screen time than usual as these are unusual circumstances. In general, if she does some reading, plays on prodigy, plays with her toys and does some physical activity most days we are out, I will be happy. Hopefully, she will be too. I know she's going to miss her teachers and the staff at her school so much. So lots of lessons on emotion identification and validation planned as well. ;) 

Days 14-20

We have been doing some fun things over the last week to keep us busy but oh my goodness!! Christmas has just really snuck up on me. Tomorrow is A's last day of school and I do not feel ready for this at all!

We listened to a call from Santa:

A's drawing of her concern that Santa might burn his booty. She drew a wet blanket, in case he needs it.

 School Grinch Day

We also gathered things for the gifts for teachers, administrators, and after care workers. 

And made some themed snacks for school Monday.

She's making a list. Checking it twice.

 A decorated all of the gingerbread cookies.

We saw Santa for milk & cookies.

 And had a school Christmas party.

We received a letter back from Santa (see the joy...)

Four's final week

Parents of older kids, will this always happen? Will I always start crying a week before my sweet baby girl's birthday?

We have a four year old for one more week. I can't even believe it.

I have moments of feeling incredibly guilty that I've fallen so far behind on the blog and therefore, documenting the memories over the last year. So I guess we are due for an update.

Sadly, in January we lost sweet Madeline. She wandered away from our house and was hit by a car. We are all still sad about this. Sweet A still cries regularly about how much she misses Madeline (and Jasper).

We've had lots of silly times together.

A had her first eye doctor's appointment, where we were told that her eyes are perfect. She was so incredibly angry about her eyes being dilated. While we waited, the staff brought her colors and a coloring page and she asked me why they would bring them when she couldn't even see to color.

 Chad and A somehow managed to convince me to get another dog in February. I am still adjusting. They clearly are not--they're all smitten and over the moon.

We celebrated Valentine's Day. 

We grew crystals with science.

Honored Dr. Seuss's birthday.

Continued looking adorable in dance tutus.

Drank hot chocolate at the doctor's office.

 Worked on our dance moves.

 Celebrated St. Patrick's day.

 And went to fun birthday parties.

So there. Now we are all caught up on the fun that has been 2017. I'm sure there will be more posts soon with her upcoming birthday. I won't pretend I'll be on top of it beyond that!