Wednesday, October 1, 2014

168 hours, busyness, and technology addiction

There should always be time for hugs.
I've been thinking about many things in this post for awhile. It isn't related to A but is more of a catch-up on how things are going for me personally and professionally. I think there are lots of good article links as well.

I am reading the book 168 hours: You have more time than you think (Laura Vanderkam). Thanks to Samantha for that recommendation. The book is culminating/integrating a number of different thoughts and challenges I've been considering lately. The basic premise of the book is that we all are given the same allotment of units each week (i.e., 168 hours) and we choose how we spend that time. It really tackles our notions and excuses about being "too busy" to exercise, "pleasure" read, go on vacation, get adequate sleep, etc. I am about halfway through the book and am already trying to make changes based on suggestions I'm reading. [All of those are excuses I regularly make, for what it's worth.]

The pieces that have struck home the most are:
1) 100 dreams: Writing down 100 things that you would like to accomplish in your lifetime is, perhaps not surprisingly, pretty difficult. It reminded me a bit of my goals post. I currently have come up with 87 things. My list includes things I have already completed (e.g., got married, bought a house, had a baby, received tenure), family dreams, big work goals in all of the major domains (research, teaching, and service), and personal goals (in areas like health behaviors, travel, community service, religion and spirituality). I also included some smaller things like shop at ikea and try Trader Joe's cookie butter (which don't quite coincide with financial and weight loss goals but I like balance). 

2) I waste tremendous amounts of time. Much like behavioral activation or acceptance and commitment therapy might have clients do, Vanderkam suggests completing a week-long homework exercise where you track what you're doing throughout the day. It turns out that lately I have been doing pretty well at being productive when I am at work (I would be even better if I kept my door shut but c'est la vie). Since having A, I've struggled in this domain--when I was pregnant, looking at potential baby strollers was more fun than reviewing journal articles; when I was just back to work, I was only scheduling enough child care to cover my meetings and would run home immediately afterward; once A started daycare, I was watching her on the video cameras while pumping and on and on. Basically, I created some bad habits. This is not to say that I haven't been working hard. This is the other place I struggle--actually recognizing when I am being productive. I spend a lot of time thinking about all of the articles that I should have already submitted, grants I have not received, etc. However, in addition to keeping our little family alive and well while Chad is working, in the last year, I got tenure, have been submitting manuscripts, applied for four grants, supervised 5-10 clinical students, developed and taught two online courses, managed my research lab, and taught my regular graduate classes. This is really pretty good. So I should be more cognizant of that. However, at home, I do really ridiculous things like check Facebook while I am folding laundry. I know the importance of engaging in one activity at a time and yet, this is a regular occurrence. Everything takes longer than it should because of this. Most days, A and I are just sitting around playing or watching television, waiting for Chad to get home. I try to do some fun activities and watch her independently play but we both get a little antsy. I think I could use this time to really connect with her more instead of being attached to my phone. I hesitate to even put this on here because of the admission as well as needing to follow through with changing my behavior.

These ideas have really resonated with other things I have discovered in the last year.
  • A big one for me is the culture of busy. It is so easy to fall into the busy trap. You may have even noticed that I did it above or frequently do this on blog posts. There is an inherent excitement or feeling of importance with telling others how busy you are or how hard you work. But it's a trap and it isn't helpful. It often leads folks to feel unproductive, inadequate, and unsatisfied. For the record, I really am working on not always responding with "busy/crazy," when folks ask how I'm doing. And I really do want to slow down and enjoy more. If you're interested, here are a few links to interesting articles:
              The Busy Trap
  • Another interesting idea that has really captured my attention recently is that of outsourcing. Clearly, many of us are familiar with the idea of local jobs being outsourced to foreign countries. However, I am referring to outsourcing within our personal lives. I recently read an interesting NYT article that discussed one of the common factors amongst successful people was that they outsourced those things that they were not good at, didn't like and/or didn't have time to do well. In general, I have often thought that hiring someone to come clean (or garden or cook, or whatever) would be a waste of money. However, I've been looking at the economics of it and no longer think that is the case. We have recently hired someone to come in and landscape our very sad, very scary front lawn. Getting that taken care of has been on my to-do list since early spring, weighing heavily on my mind. However, I'm genuinely excited now that we have someone who will come in and fix it for us. I can't wait! I love cooking and baking so I know I will continue to do those things but having someone come help with cleaning and laundry might be pretty outstanding and would free up more weekend time with A. Additionally, I recently learned about virtual assistants, who can help with a number of book keeping and other tasks. I would have made a really excellent virtual assistant (I have magic internet apparently) so it is hard for me to imagine utilizing one but I'm in love with the idea. 
  • I continue to read, think about, and feel guilty regarding being tethered to my cell phone. I am trying to set more rules for myself (putting phone away when I get home, etc.) and reading hands free mama is often a good wake-up call. As is having a 2.5 year old say "Put phone down mama." Yikes. This continues to be a work in progress.
  • The last change I have made recently is focusing more on actually writing at work. It is easy to get caught up in teaching and service responsibilities, email, meetings, and research lab management and not devote enough time to actually writing and moving forward on projects. This summer I joined a 14-day writing challenge through the National Center for Faculty Development & Diversity which gave me some good foundational skills for setting aside time to write, using a timer, and conducting a "Sunday night meeting" to schedule my tasks for the week. This has been incredibly helpful. I am also trying to help my students develop better habits so we are doing a reading series on Writing Your Journal Article in 12 weeks which is going really well. I am about to start working with an online grant consultant which should also be interesting (and hopefully worthwhile!).
So, that's how things are here. If I could get Chad to write a blog post, I think he would tell you that his work is going very well. 

2 comments:

  1. Saw your link on Laura Vanderkam's blog. The fact that you got tenure is HUGE! Congratulations - clearly you are doing the right things :)

    I also love those articles re: the culture of "busy" we have. I am trying to review my calendar overall to see what I can cancel/remove, and I've got a firm limit on one activity/class per kid. I have also declined birthday parties for the 2 year old (folks we don't know well from daycare, etc.)

    Good luck! I like parts of the Hands Free Mama book, too, but sometimes it's just too preachy for me. (But I like the IDEA, anyway.)

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    1. Thanks for the comment and the congratulations!
      Yes, even just reframing so that busy doesn't feel like a badge of honor has been helpful for me. I have also been considering an attempt to shorten my meetings, when possible.
      Fortunately, my 2 year old isn't in any activities and doesn't get invited to many birthday parties. I am not looking forward to those obligations! And yes, I understand what you mean about HFM! The idea of it is great, though!

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