Our sweet baby girl,
Eleven was a year packed full of growth and change! During the past year, we took a few trips, you got braces, and you started middle school. You continue to be at the lower tail of the height distribution but you did grow almost two inches this year and went up a couple of sizes in shoes (you’re now in a size 3 or 4!). I don’t mind one bit that you lean toward the younger end of development.
Over the summer, I had some trepidation about you entering middle school but you have absolutely thrived in this new environment. Frequently changing classrooms, teachers, and classmates helps keep your attention and reduces boredom. Most of your teachers seem to really “get” you and understand your needs and it has made such a difference in your attitude toward school. While you’re still not jumping out of bed with a spring in your step in the mornings, you are eager to go to school everyday and are sad when you’re out for various breaks and professional days. Your favorite classes have been art, creative writing, and math but you’ve done incredibly well across all subjects. My heart is so happy that your love of learning has returned. The first few months of school we meticulously checked your Google classroom and backpack for homework or studying but you never brought anything home. Whenever I ask “don’t you have science homework” you let me know “no, I did that in math class” or “I finished my math in world studies”. It drove me crazy at first but you’ve been doing fine so I am just going with it this year. Next year you’ll have more advanced classes in ELA and pre-algebra so we likely will need to set shift again. Band has been the biggest roller coaster this year, making me actually try to talk you out of staying past the first semester. I was impressed with how quickly you picked up the clarinet but it also has caused so much stress due to continued struggles with perfectionism and unhelpful thoughts. You’ve opted to continue into next year so we will just see how it goes.
Those perfectionistic black and white thoughts continued in softball this year too, to the point I actually didn’t expect you to play again this spring but you were enthusiastic about one of your favorite people coaching a 12U team. You continue to love practicing but spiral at errors. I want you to continue playing for as long as you like it and we’ve been working hard to watch others’ mistakes to show it’s impossible not to mess up sometimes. You also are very sensitive to conversations about middle schoolers. You’ve had some unfortunate experiences where substitute teachers have noted that “this is the worst generation of sixth graders” they’ve seen and you really carried that with you for weeks, fretting that yours is the generation that ruins the world. We had many long talks about middle school always being a tough transition and the ways that this age is also amazing and awesome.
You have a very tight knit group of a few friends and you seem friendly with several classmates, which helps with the “everyone is awful and we are going to ruin the world” fears. We recently let you add texting a few friends and your softball teammates (from your watch). Our house is not ready for the added stress of a phone, which is something you ask for regularly. We still struggle at home some with boredom and big emotions but even this has been getting better over the last couple of months. You’re also learning about living according to your values and making good choices. And I’m learning how to parent through this.
Overall, eleven was a great year. We had a lot to figure out with anxiety, attention, appetite, and asthma but I feel like you are in a pretty healthy place across the board now. I am incredibly thankful that we get to spend a lot of afternoons, evenings, and weekends hanging out. Although you do need your social/friend time, I am so happy you also still want a lot of family time. You still hug and cuddle and want bedtime snuggles. I will take this as long as you will allow it. You are witty and define yourself as funny, introverted, and kind and a diagnosis of ADHD really helped you understand how your brain works. You have become a good advocate for yourself and aren’t afraid to stand up for others. This makes us so proud. You have strong opinions and march to your own drum, despite what might be popular (ahem, you think Olivia Rodrigo is overrated; you’re tired of Taylor Swift being everywhere you look; you avoid wearing clothes with specific brands lest someone think you’re trying). You’ve been working hard on compromise and still have a ways to go.
You are incredible and I try to remind you daily of your value and worth as a human. We love you so very much. I hope twelve is just as amazing and that we can set you up for success as you teeter so close to the teen years.
