Letter to smudge: 12 months

Dear baby A,

It's so hard to believe you are 12 months old. The last few months have gone by so fast. You change daily and I'm so afraid I'm going to lose the precious memories of the funny and sweet things you do.

Your daddy and my favorite thing you do is give hugs. Everyone who holds you loves how cuddly you are. You love to lay your head on my shoulder, my stomach, or my leg. Sometimes it's when you're sleepy and sometimes it's for no reason at all, except to show affection. Today you were playing with your toys and you saw me watching you and you dropped everything to give me a hug. It melted my heart. I hope you always love this much.

You think mouth noises are hilarious. You love to play with sounds and have more raspberries in your repertoire than most singers have notes in their range. Today you discovered the fun of strumming your lips while humming and it gave us all such joy! You just wanted to show us (and have us mimic back--daddy was terrifically awful!) over and over.

At night, you still like being all wrapped up and getting a bottle before bed. After you fall asleep and I put you in your crib, you often scoot yourself to the side and stroke the crib slats in your sleep. It's the sweetest thing. You are always moving, even in your sleep. Sometimes we can't find you on the video camera because you've scooted into a blind spot.

You love going to school. Your favorite teachers are Ms. Katie and Ms. Myesha. You have several little friends and this makes me happy. You, Breckin, and Nathan play really well together. Lately the three of you apparently like to crawl behind the glider and hide. It's too cute for words.

You have the best laugh. And you use it often. You are a very happy baby. The things that make you laugh most are: playing ball with Jasper, sneezes (fake or real), Madeline's snorts, peek a boo, and back/neck/foot tickles.

Your favorite foods are avocado, squash, club crackers, and cheese. You don't yet have the hang of the sippy cup (probably because we forget to give it to you...!), but you love to hold it and think it's great fun to throw it.

Another one of our favorite qualities is how curious you are. It's so fun to watch you test your theories over and over again--"if I put my toy in the cabinet and shut the door, will it still be there when I open it? What about now, the 32nd time I try it?" You may be a little short-tempered (you come by it honestly...) but you can be incredibly patient. Particularly if you're in a new environment or there are lots of people for you to observe.

Last night I hurt your feelings for (as far as I've realized) the very first time. You've been having some struggles at night (falling and staying asleep). I'm not sure if it's teething or separation anxiety or the disruption in routine from house guests but no matter what, it's been a rough few nights for us all. Last night, while I was rocking you, you were scratching my face and it hurt. I firmly said "no, that hurts. I can't let you do that" and pushed your hand away. Your face just crumbled and you sobbed until you couldn't catch your breath. And it completely broke my heart. I will continue to set boundaries because they are necessary and important. But just know that I don't enjoy it. In fact, last night I cried every time I thought of that look and how inconsolable you were. And you were fine within minutes. I know it won't always be that way.

I also know I won't always be able to protect you. Yesterday was a sad and scary day for the world as another senseless act of violence shook Boston (the city where I told some of my friends and colleagues about you for the very first time). I am glad that you're too young to understand what happened. In reality, I know none of us understand. It's incomprehensible. I do not look forward to the day when we have to talk about these things. I want you to always feel like you do in this very moment, resting in my arms. Safe and secure. Warm and loved. Completely innocent.

We love you so very much. I truly cannot imagine a sweeter little girl.

Smudge is 1!!

Happy birthday, sweet Alaina!

She loves her new little table & chairs. :) Such a big girl.

I loved putting together her birthday outfit. I couldn't get a good shot of the t-shirt all day!

She got some fun presents from family.

A sit-to-stand walker

Little People Noah's Ark 

Some mega bloks!

And, while I got this toy for her birthday, she found it a little early and has been loving it for a few weeks!

She had a fun day in Oklahoma City, including getting her first pair of sunglasses (that she prefers to take off and chew...).

Of course a birthday isn't a birthday without cake! We picked up a birthday cupcake from Pinkitzel (plus a few for us--chocolate salted caramel, pink lemonade, and turtle cheesecake--as well...).

Alaina loved playing in the frosting. But wasn't so sure about eating it. I'll be curious what she does with her cake during her birthday party. Stay tuned for a blog post about that--it will be next Sunday, the 21st. I can't wait for everyone to see the stuff we've been working on for her party!

Now for the videos and photos of the cupcake smash.

Note Jasper joining in the happy birthday singing...

Babies...

Babies are still babies after they turn one, right? I just can't bear for this to be Alaina's last day as a baby. Thankfully she will happily comply. I don't anticipate that she will start to walk, get potty trained, or give up her evening cuddles in the rocking chair overnight so I can keep saying she's a baby. After all, Jasper and Madeline are still puppies. Never mind that they are nine and ten years old...

Must resist the urge to get her out of her bed to snuggle.

A week away from ONE

Alaina is almost a year old. I've heard lore that the first birthday party isn't so much a party for the little one (what do they know? they're just babies.) but a celebration for the parents for keeping a tiny person alive. I get this. I spent the first few weeks hoping Alaina would grow and be healthy, but having trouble imagining her getting to this point (I told you; parenting does weird things to your brain!). And here we are. Just a week away from her first birthday.

I took her in last week to figure out what was going on with her ears. First I had to bring her to work with me. She got to sit in on my grad student meeting again. She was a little more excited about the cupcake magnets on my filing cabinet than our discussion of research projects.

The ENT said he had thought we might need to have her left ear tube removed because of the continued drainage but once he looked in her throat he saw that her left tonsil was infected. So we started a round of Augmentin and more ear drops.

Augmentin is the devil's antibiotic. You can't tell from the pictures but this medicine really made our lives difficult the first few days. Alaina wasn't interested in eating or sleeping. She was going to bed late and waking frequently and truly screaming in frustration. We felt so bad for her. But that seemed to level out after a few days and she seems to be doing well. No more ear drainage and she's eating and sleeping normally.

My mom is currently visiting us and Alaina is having a ball getting to know her Nana. She's really enjoyed showing her how to work the Playskool Busy Ball Popper and how to play fetch with Jasper. Tomorrow Mom and I will attempt to organize Alaina's closet and dresser. My sweet friend, Lana gave us a bunch of clothes from her daughter, Grace. We are excited for Alaina to have a whole new wardrobe, particularly since Grace is one of the cutest and best-dressed toddlers around! It does mean that I need to get back in gear with putting baby clothes away though! We have stuff hanging up that Alaina has long since grown out of. But hopefully we'll get that squared away tomorrow.

So that's the excitement. I am mostly in denial that Alaina will be a year old next week.

Spring break synopsis

This may be the longest I have gone without posting! Things have been very hectic at home and at work. Alaina is all over the place and into everything!

She is just so happy. Even when she is refusing to sleep. :)

She is fussy at times these days because her ears are still bothering her. We ended up doing another round of ear drops and they are draining again. So, I'm taking her back to the ENT on Friday and hoping for some answers. Chad and I are beyond frustrated with this experience. Poor thing just needs to be well.

The Friday before Spring Break I picked Alaina up early and took her to my graduate student lab meeting. FYI, I do not feel guilty having meetings the Friday afternoon before Spring Break so don't even ask (good graduate students don't take spring breaks). :) Anyhow, she enjoyed hearing about our upcoming projects and is excited that Greg and Hilary will soon be defending their theses and Ashley is proposing in a couple of weeks...okay, maybe not. But she was excited that we stopped by the new gelato/grilled cheese/coffee house, Blue Spruce, after work. She got her first taste of a semi-naughty food, strawberry sorbet. She was pretty addicted.

What are you waiting for? I need more sorbet!

Along these lines, and in response to new research saying you no longer need to wait until after 1 year to introduce high-allergen foods (though she is so close to a year ::sniff sniff:: that this is really a moot point), she tried peanut butter last week. I just gave her a tiny dab to make sure she did not have an allergic reaction and she was infuriated to get such a small amount. I am sad I didn't get that on video because her response was priceless. She has also tried yogurt and ground beef recently. On Sunday she had some small bumps on her chest and today she had a few around her mouth but I'm really not sure what that's about (both days she had pretty typical food). Trying not to sweat it too much. Because she has done okay, I am thinking that I will just do a regular birthday cake for her. I had been thinking about doing a vegan banana or applesauce cake but I think she can probably handle the little bit of cake/frosting that she will get. And it's a lot more fun.

We were all excited that Alaina got to meet her sweet cousin, Avery, who came to visit for a couple of days. I cannot believe that this precious little girl is almost 5 years old. I still remember being at the hospital before she was born. Of course, Avery was more excited to see the puppies than anything. But I think she misses her "momma Steph." :) I certainly miss her. This is a definite reminder how hard it is being away from family and how fast time flies. Glad we have more family coming to visit in the next couple of weeks.

T - 1 month and crying...

Our silly little girl will be a year old in just 1 month. It's very hard to believe. The first three to six months really did feel like an eternity sometimes but now I keep thinking she's 9 months old. The last few months have really flown by. It's so sad. She's just so big.

So this has been an interesting week for us. On Thursday I got a message from Alaina's school after I finished teaching. One of the directors said that when Alaina woke up from her nap, there was blood on her sheets, that had come from her ear. This freaked me out partly because the message was two hours old and of course, no one likes to hear that their child has blood coming from any orifice! However, the director went on to say that Alaina seemed very happy, she slept well, and she had been eating normally. I called the ENT and he indicated this was normal. Doesn't really sound "normal" but what do I know? We had an appointment scheduled for Tuesday (today) so he indicated we should continue putting drops in her ear (we had started the night before due to the excessive drainage) until then. Her school had also noted that her face looked swollen on the one side. It's hard to really see puffiness in such a chubby cheeked kiddo.

The blood has continued so I am glad we had the appointment. Basically, the ENT said both tubes looked good but that her left ear was infected. So we are back on Omnicef (again, the crazy drug that causes brick red stool) and a different ear drop. I imagine that will clear it up. It's hard not to be irritated--I thought the tubes were supposed to stop the infections. Again, Chad and I know that ear tubes are tremendously helpful in a lot of cases. So many people said that they were a God-send for their families. But so far, it's hard for us to see how she has really benefited. Instead, all we see is that they were expensive and they have caused annoyances (grumpiness following the anesthesia, being told we need to use ear plugs--which we are still doing even though it sounds like they aren't actually necessary, and now the infection/drainage/bleeding). But alas, this too shall pass.

In other news, Alaina is really going now. She loves exploring the house. Jasper is a little less enthusiastic about her mobility but fortunately for him, he is still much faster than she is. She's also really loud so her squeals give away her unstealth "sneak" attacks. 

We feel really fortunate that she is a really good listener. We are attempting to set things up so that we are not having to say no (except in dangerous situations) or redirect/distract her. She responds pretty well to things being explained to her. It's crazy how babies pick up on more than we realize (here is the description of a cool, recent study that directly discusses how amazing babies are, with the ability to make predictions based on probability, their reasoning abilities, and their ability to feel empathy!). Today Alaina's teacher shared that Alaina is the "bib police". She likes going around and taking the other babies' bibs off. However, when they say her name, she looks at them and hands them the bib. Which is pretty stinking cute. Today, the other little girl in her class was laying on a boppy pillow, drinking her bottle and Alaina took it from her. The teacher caught this and said "Alaina..." and she promptly put the bottle back in Breckin's mouth. And then she held Breckin's bottle for her (while she drank it) for 5 minutes. My heart melted. How cute is that??? 

In terms of receptive language, she really does understand a lot of words (in addition to her name and the occasional "no"). She knows night-night, bye-bye, bottle, eat (both verbal and sign language), and up. She also knows what the gesture "hand it to me" means. She is still making lots of babbling jabber and will sign for "eat" and "all done." In terms of "words"/verbal language, she will sometimes say her version of all done and she can say night-night. I'm ready for her words to explode in the fairly near future. She really is just a sponge soaking it all up!

Every week, I feel like I'm thinking "this is one of my favorite videos." I'll just call this one sock. Watch what she does.

In terms of food, we are still (very) slowly introducing new things. She still does a mix of purees and finger foods. As much as we try, she still just does not like chicken. At all. However, that is the only meat she has had so far. She loves pita bread. I have been nervous about dairy but I gave her a bit of shredded cheddar cheese on Sunday. She loved it! Could not get enough of it! So far, so good. We really hope she is able to eat dairy. Depending on how the next few weeks go, I may make her birthday cake (the one she will eat/smash). I have found a few vegan cakes--one is applesauce and the other is bananas. She has had an oral reaction (bumps/spots around her mouth) to bananas every other time we try them, though. 

Anyhow, that's basically the developmental stuff from the last month. I can't believe that her next "monthly" post will be for her birthday!