It feels futile to review our past year. We survived; the end?
Of course you know that reflection (and rumination) is far too tempting for me. I do know I will one day forget the nuances of our "Pandemic Year 1" (please, please let 2021 be the last year we can reference in pandemic terms!). Of all years past, this should have been the year of lowered expectations and letting go of guilt and shame of things not accomplished. It is always an aspiration (see the years of the past for reference).
But seriously. I have just stared at my screen for the last 5 minutes trying to figure out what to say. To be honest with you, that is a pretty accurate summary of the last 9 months, trying to write/work. While Chad has worked in person throughout the pandemic, A and I have basically been home since March, isolated from folks, save a couple of trips to the office each month. We recognize how incredibly privileged we are for so many reasons--that I was allowed to work from home due to A's asthma; that A can participate in virtual school; and that Chad was able to keep working. While Chad's work is our biggest exposure point, amidst so many folks losing jobs and the economy struggling, we are glad that his job has been secure (apparently a number of folks used this time to remodel their kitchens and/or appliances were overworked and needed to be replaced)!
While we definitely made some good memories this year, looking back at my 2020 goals this year was a little painful...
Plan trips? Yikes. We canceled a trip to Ohio for a wedding and were not able to go to Kentucky or Michigan to visit family...Stay on top of editorial tasks? Ha! In addition to it being virtually impossible to secure reviewers (I understand this--I had to say no to a record number!), there were more submissions this year than ever! Continue friend dates? Eek. My last colleague lunch was March 6 and previous tea/work dates were prior to that. Volunteer at the food bank? Nope. I should have walked the dogs regularly, went to bed earlier, ate fruit/vegetables, and landscaped the backyard but alas. All of that said, I was able to connect with friends via Zoom, found joy in sending people surprises via grub hub/door dash, and I would not have made it through this period of time without some really awesome text/messaging groups with daily check-ins, memes, vent sessions, and photos of cute kids and yummy food.
In terms of work, we somehow submitted an NIH R34 grant in June (not discussed with pretty crummy reviews) and, after a lotttttt of frustration, I submitted our program's self-study (all inclusive it was 896 pages!) in December. We were able to move our community study to a virtual platform after canceling participants in the spring. I'm nervous but hopeful that we will be able to collect enough folks to end the project at the end of June. Along with a number of faculty in my department, I spent some time this summer completing an antiracism training program, which continues to challenge me in my daily life and within academia. I moved all my classes and meetings online and that went relatively okay, though the break from zoom meetings sure was appreciated over the last two weeks. I hope that I can get more done in terms of research writing and student submissions in the coming months. Normally, I would look back on the number of decision letters, journal reviews, ADOS administrations, and manuscripts submitted but I'm honestly afraid to even look at this.
I went through a reading slump, especially since so much of time was spent reading about COVID, planning for homeschooling, etc. However, I ended strong finishing 55 books. Favorites were Giver of the Stars, Hill Women, Dear Martin, The Great Believers, and Such a Fun Age. During the summer, I had virtual meetings on Sunday mornings with two friends and we set house goals. With A's help, I was able to reorganize the playroom and closet and declutter most every room in the house. Another (unplanned) success was lots of time baking--sourdough, focaccia, asiago bagels, English muffins, garlic knots, baguettes, olive oil and rosemary crackers, pretzels, yeast rolls, sandwich bread, and pizza dough. We also got to play lots of board games and watch movies as a family. School was really tough for A this fall due to the virtual platform Edgenuity and missing her teachers and friends. However, we are hopeful this reset will help us and want to make a plan for better success in the spring. We absolutely cannot wait until it's safe to return to school.
So that's it. That was 2020. What a hot mess.
We are super hopeful this year brings continued good health, safety, compassion for our neighbors, and some semblance of equilibrium and normality. As we hope for this return, we also will continue thinking about what parts of our "pandemic lives" we would like to maintain moving forward.
No comments:
Post a Comment